In the Beginning…
There was darkness and void. Then a lot of other stuff happened (allegedly). Fast forward to the mid-1990s; a simpler time by most people’s reckoning. The World Wide Web was just coming into its own. Cell phones were the size of a gradeschooler’s shoe, and owned only by the affluent and ostentatious. In Denver, Colorado, during this era, many young adults would flock to local coffee shops where an entire night of socializing and entertainment could be had for the price of a bottomless cup of coffee (about $2.50 at that time).
Each shop had its regulars, its vibe, and its own micro-community, and night owls would bounce between Paris on the Platte, The Mercury Cafe, Denver Diner, Reese, and a host of others depending on social and activity preferences. A very special spot in the cafe circuit was Muddy’s: home away from home for insomniac teenagers, bikers, hippies, nerds, and a whole spectrum of yet-unclassified misfits. It was here we first met.
It didn’t take long for us to recognize some possible complementary harmonics in one another’s waveforms. Kayti suggested introducing the folks in our circles to each other and joining forces. Her instincts were spot-on, and our people became fast friends. We successfully joined the groups into one motley chosen family.
Over the next few years, our group shared myriad outings and adventures, and these friendships grew and deepened.
Sports were generally held in low regard amongst our people, so when Kayti learned Andy had a fondness for hockey, she pounced on the chance to bring him to a preseason game against his favorite team, the Buffalo Sabres. In what Andy maintains is the most boring live hockey event he’s ever seen, the game ended in a 0-0 tie with a combined total of 12 shots on goal.
Despite temporarily losing contact when Kayti moved to Seattle and then Southern California in the 2000s, our larger chosen family/friend group remained intact. When she returned to Colorado in 2010, Kayti was still close to many of our mutual friends. On one fateful August day in 2017, we were both invited to see Atomic Blonde at the Sloan's Lake Alamo Drafthouse by one such friend, and our connection was re-established.
After the movie, Andy shared with Kayti the fact that he'd seen her profile on OKCupid, and her match percentage was higher than ANY he had seen previously.
Not long after, Andy invited Kayti out for dinner at Burns Pub for what he liked to refer to as “dinner with strangers” (AKA dates). While we weren’t exactly strangers, we shared a nice meal and caught up a fair amount on the goings-on in one another’s lives. Soon we were meeting at each other’s houses for shows or board games, and getting out to the occasional concert. We shared a love of live music, and our preferences had sufficient overlap so as not to irritate one another, but were different enough to allow us to share new things.
Our last live show together before the pandemic struck was Rent's 20th anniversary tour at DCPA on March 1st of 2020. Rent being Kayti's favorite musical, she had secured front-row seats, and she took Andy to share it with her. When lockdowns hit later that month, Kayti knew she wanted to be in Andy's "pod."
Throughout 2020 and 2021, we leaned on one another for support through the fear, isolation, and life challenges that global respiratory pandemic brought everyone. When Andy needed to move back to Buffalo, NY, for the support of his family, Kayti expressed a serious interest in coming along. Andy bought a duplex to accommodate two complete households and make space for Kayti to come with him.
Moving to a new city provided time, support, and space to help recover from the trauma of the previous few years. Andy was hyper-wary of new relationships, labels, and expectations, but we shared a duplex and by 2022 were acknowledging that we were a couple.
We worked hard to develop healthy and practical approaches to resolving the challenges of living together, communicating effectively, managing expectations, and all that other dreadful stuff that makes being with people so difficult. In so doing, we strengthened our trust in each other and created useful tools to make living with one another easier. And we continued to bond over shows, hockey, and karaoke.
As it became clear that our association was long-term and stable, we acknowledged that legal marriage brings benefits that matter more and more as folks move through their sixth decade (!) of life, and we decided to pay the necessary fees and file the requisite paperwork.
(photo by Don Hajicek)
In an effort to satisfy the bureaucratic requirements with a minimum of planning and effort, we self-solemnized in Colorado, which is the easiest state in the nation in which to become legally married.
With all the unpleasantries out of the way, we are now free to celebrate our unique, special, unclassifiable loving partnership with all of our people! Our sincere hope is that our families and friends will come together and share the love they have for us with each other. Maybe… just maybe they’ll discover that they’re all each other’s people too.
(photo by Don Hajicek)
There's no photo from the party, because it hasn't happened yet. But we hope to see you and yours on our Anniversary Reception Tour in the summer of 2027. Come meet the best friends you never before got the chance to know!